Triple X called the office and indicated this is Triple X from the State Nursing Board, XXX had a question for me about a case, and it was an extreme emergency.
My receptionist was excited and in a panic.
Why? I am a nurse license defense attorney who practices before State Nursing Boards; calls from Board staff, Hearing Officers, All Attorneys, and Administrative Law Judges are Priority calls of course.
But guess what, so are calls from clients and prospective clients. This is why I have my own practice and its limited to nurse license defense because my clients are nurses as a nurse all nurses are important.
Okay, I pause:
1. I have never received an "extreme emergency phone call from State Nursing Board staff" EVER, NEVER, EVER.
Even if its a Summary Suspension case in Ohio, immediate suspension in Indiana, or Immediate Temporary Suspension case in Kentucky, Board staff have never said "this is an extreme emergency and I need to speak with LaTonia now."
Why? Because LaTonia responds and returns calls, emails, etc. promptly. PERIOD. I am not your previous lawyer or the lawyer your neighbor worked with on her divorce or personal injury case and could never reach.
My law practice isn't structured that way. Its LaTonia, Jack, receptionists, and soon to be a virtual legal assistant. We don't have 80 staff members and we track calls, inquiries, and information coming and going in my law office like a person on a diet trying to look decent and "easy on the eyes" in a tasteful bikini when their swimming pool opens on May 30, 2011 counts calories and carbs.
Yes. I am not on a diet per se; but I have lost 30 pounds! Okay but that's another post and yes I still have a Pepsi a day; just more water and I eat less than 1200 calories per day. I know! Okay, but that's another post.
2. Board of Nursing staff have my direct office dial, my home number, my office fax and my personal fax, and my cell phone. I have Board staff office telephone numbers programmed into my cell phone and also my email on my DROID X.
3. Also, WTH is an extreme emergency?
An extreme emergency is a matter of life or death.
I am not a death penalty criminal defense attorney so I don't get calls saying "hey LaTonia return this call in 10 minutes or the switch will be thrown or call us back in 20 minutes because we are priming the tubing." I don't receive those types of calls in my practice, sorry.
4. When I saw Triple X my first thought was "there is no one by that name who works with State Nursing Board A,B, or C" however despite the fact that most Boards are having staff furloughs because of state wide budget cuts related to the economy, maybe there is a new Board staff person with this particular Board by the name of XXX.
Then in 5 seconds, I searched by online service as a software law practice management system and saw this nurse had contacted my law firm several months about a pending disciplinary investigation before the State Nursing Board.
Just a few things:
A. Anytime your license is being investigated; its a priority for you and it should be a priority for the attorney you contact. If you contact a license defense attorney its a priority. That's the bread and butter for a license defense attorney.
B. We return all calls within the hour, a few hours, and certainly within the day. My office returns all phone calls and responds to inquiries. PERIOD.
C. You want to reach me fast because you need to respond to a Kentucky Nursing Board Complaint, Ohio Nursing Board Potential Violation Report, and/or Indiana Nursing Board complaint by a DEADLINE. You can do one or more of the following; I don't really don't mind:
1. Call my office at 513-771-7266 or 888-571-1110;
3. Complete a form on this blog (those are emailed directly to me);
4. Complete a form on my primary website at www.nursing-jurisprudence.com (those are emailed directly to me);
5. Complete a form on my second website at www.nursing-jurist.com (those are mailed directly to me);
6. Fax your State Nursing Board complaint to my office.
My office receives faxes via email and I receive those emails instantly. Our fax number is 888 580 1119;
7. Call and/or text and leave a voicemail for Jack Stem at 513-833-4584. Jack will find me and say "hey, This just came in.....";
8. Call and/or text and leave a voicemail for me on my cell phone at 513-604-9330; Don't just call and not leave a voicemail.
9. Pay for a Legal Consultation on my website at www.nursing-jurisprudence.com; you need to speak with me immediately and you want me to review documents, right? Click on the online payment icon; If you retain me, we can deduct this from your flat fee true retainer for representation; and/or
10. Go ahead and pay for a legal consultation on my website or with my bookfresh account which allows you to also schedule appts. online; See
I receive an email about a payment instantly and I immediately say start to wiggle because I have received a payment of "the green" and I may be able to go to Big Lots and buy dog treats, cleaning supplies (I like to clean! and that's another post), and start making Valentine cards and baskets for 45 nieces and nephews and decorating my husband's business for Valentines Day.
I am wired 24/7 and I love it. No burnout here, pumpkin as I am going hard and I love it!
Although, because I am not a liar I must admit, I probably won't start graduate school for my MSN this summer because of my law firm case load. Also I am doing and enjoying more traditional wife activities like taking an active role in my husband's business and assisting him with his career goals. Hot damn, but that's another post. True, hard core and card-carrying nurse fems stay tuned!
I turn my Droid X on silent now (I can't turn it off; that's another post) at bedtime because my husband gets irritated hearing "DROID" all night with emails and text messages I receive (personal and business); let's not even go there with Facebook updates! DDDD-RRR-OOO-IIII-DDDD! I love to here this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVZIlmzohbo
I smile because when I hear "DROID" I think its money or its about money and I start to wiggle and its text about one my nieces upcoming birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. I swear you need take a Flexeril (legally prescribed; this is Nursing Law & Order) at the door before entering a Chuck & E. Cheese for a preschooler or toddler birthday party. Its off the hook madness from the time you enter until you leave.
I actually was "reprimanded" much like a State Nursing Board reprimand (without the fine, CE or publication in the Board Newsletter) for turning over in the morning and reaching for my Droid to the left instead of checking on my husband to the right. I responded I am left-handed and its my natural response to turn to the left in the morning not to the right. I now turn to the right (while I am thinking, I wonder what awaits for me this glorious morning to the left?)
Seriously, don't lie and say you are with the State Nursing Board when you call my office. I have an issue with liars (see my previous blog posts over the years). I do and I am willing to admit it. Why lie? :)
I would rather you take a quarter out of my purse (that's all you will find in my purse because I don't keep any green on me) and steal from me (take the quarter at the bottom of my purse; but if you go into my wallet and take my debit/credit cards I am prosecuting you for theft, reporting you to the State Nursing Board, and putting my hands on you in self-defense of course) than lie to me.
I know, are you reading more aggression in my posts lately? I know; I am working on it (I am lying) and I can't wait until the weather breaks so I can start walking 2-4 miles a day again instead of using gym equip. I really can't wait because walking helps with stress and a sleep better at night after my long walks.
Its casts such a negative net and unnecessarily so when you say this, I am Triple X with State Nursing Board A, this is an extreme emergency, and I am calling LaTonia about a case with a question.
It also makes me think you think I am "slow" because surely if you are contacting a nurse license defense attorney and saying you work for the Board, the attorney would know that you don't work for the Board or the attorney can find out easily whether or not you do work for the Board.
Then I start to wonder, is this a mental case? Is this a red flag client? Do I need to have Jack "background" this person now? Is this person just f'ing with me and my staff just because? Who does this? Then I get angry. Not Incredible Hulk green angry, but just 2 second Mountain Dew yellow angry, then I say "Code Orange" and I move on.
Code Orange in my law practice means a no way, no client.
So bottomline, I am always accessible to prospective clients. I am also working on current client cases which are important and a priority also. It doesn't take my office DAYS or WEEKS to respond to any inquiries and therefore you don't have to misrepresent yourself and say you work with the State Nursing Board and you have a question about a case to get my attention.
Deceit, Deception, and Dishonesty!